To The Struggling Mom
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Have you ever had one of those days—or weeks—where you feel like you are failing to keep it together? Struggling to be a good mom, a good wife, daughter, friend, and on and on.
I feel like there is so much pressure to be a perfect mom. When all reality the perfect mom has her weaknesses and struggles just like every other mom. But, that doesn’t mean the pressure isn’t still there.
There’s that mom that always looks perfect, has so much patience with her children who are so well behaved, has the house clean and healthy dinners ready, caring her Starbucks coffee and just has her shit together.
At least that’s what it looks like from the outside. Yet, I still envy her.
Most days I live in the “mom uniform.” My activewear, no makeup, and messy bun. I say this, and I think of that parody video of moms in activewear that floated around Facebook. Ha! But, I embrace it. I’m comfortable, my kids look cute, and I’m only running to the store for what feels like the 10th time this week. There’s no need to get “dressed,” in my opinion.
Well, this week has been a little rougher than usual. My Elliana starts Kindergarten on Monday. Eek! I have so many mixed emotions about this, but in the end, I know it’s needed.
She and Logan have been off the last week or so, and I think it all has to do with school starting. She’s very excited and has been counting down the days for months now. Yes, months. Even with the excitement, she has moments of fear, doubt, and nervousness.
Most of the time she’s very vocal in letting me know what’s wrong and we talk it out, but I know that’s not always the case. With all the school preparation the last couple of weeks, I know it’s on all of our minds a lot these days. Even my little Logan, though he doesn’t fully understand, is having his off days because of it.
How could any of us not? It’s a major change. I’ve been a stay at home mom since Elliana was born, so they have never been to daycare, mothers day out or anything of that sort.
All of these things going on, plus the regular day to day things, has me feeling like I’m struggling to keep it together.
I’ve gotten to the point a couple of times where I just don’t feel like fighting Logan to put his underwear back on. Or Miss E to stop having pool parties in the bathroom sink where there is now water ALL over the place.
I’ve been that mom who is a pushover in the store and lets her kids get a chocolate egg—even after I have said no a hundred times—just to keep the tantrum away. You know those eggs with toys inside that are all over youtube. If you don’t know what I’m talking about make sure you don’t look it up with your littles around. You don’t want them knowing what they are because then it will be a never ending battle at the store EVERYTIME you go.
But at the end of the day, I remind myself that this too shall pass. Next week Miss E will be in school and all of those little daily rituals, bathroom pool parties, concerts and dance routines, aren’t going to happen as often. My littles are growing up right before my eyes, and I need to relish in these moments.
I have to remind my self that the only perfect mom for my kids is ME, messy bun and all. Looking perfect or having a sparkling clean home is not what my children are going to remember when they are older.
What does matter? The hugs and kisses, the bedtime stories, the laughter and even the darn bathroom pool parties and chocolate eggs.
Even the most kept together mom has tears in her “Supermom” cape. We all just put on a brave face and mask the struggles we carry. Most-likely, the only one who sees this so called weakness you feel you have, is you.
Remember this the next time you feel like the only hot mess at the Chickfila playground. You are not the only one slipping up. We all are, we are just wearing our own masks. That’s why we have coffee, chocolate, and wine. Your pick.
Cut yourself some slack, mama. Take a breath and just enjoy all those little moments. I’d rather have a happy family over a spotless house any day. Being perfect is over rated.
For your viewing pleasure and a little laugh here’s the activewear mom video.